Protecting My Honor
by StarksthenameSnarkisthegame
Summary: Tony doesn't sleep. Tony gets cranky. Clint is sneaky. Clint is scary. Tony is terrified. Or in which Tony is sleep deprived and Clint defaces his honor. Steve and Bucky deal with the ridiculous duo. *Originally posted on AO3* Warnings: Language, M/M (Non-graphic)


A/N Prompt fill for the Avengers Kink Meme found here:

Tony was angry.

No, Tony was _furious_. Like, red-as-his-suit furious.

It had all started with _Clint being Clint_. Tony was just working, minding his own business in the lab, sleep deprived as usual. His eyes were surely manic, his hair greasy, his clothes covered in hydraulic fluid. He hadn't eaten in a day, hadn't slept in three. It was like the minute Steve had left on SHIELD business four days ago he'd regressed back into the habits he'd had when he was single. And surprisingly, no one was here to stop him.

Pepper was in Tokyo on SI business, Natasha and Bucky were with Steve, Bruce was at a convention that Tony did _not_ want to go to because really, Biology was a squishy science and Tony preferred metallic things. All in all, he'd been left at the tower with Thor - who in all reality had been banging Jane into the _damned_ floorboards for the past _two_ hours - and Clint - who had the nerve to terrify the man with a bad heart any chance he got.

Tony was on high alert even though all his attention seemed to be focused on the intricate wiring he was soldering along the base of a control panel for one of R&D's mainframes. Clint hadn't stopped swooping in _via air vent_ the entire time the team had been gone and it was really grating on Tony. The petite brunette had ordered Jarvis to warn him before hand because Tony was scared shitless. The crazy ass blonde man would _not_ go away.

Eventually, Clint had ceased. Tony realized that it was probably dark out and Clint had simply gone to bed. He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes and groaned as he attempted to stand from his bent over position. Damn back, always creaking. "J? Time?" Tony croaked out, zipping over to turn off his soldering iron. Tony could hear the disappointment in Jarvis's tone as he spoke, "Two twenty three a.m. sir. I do believe you require some nutrition and sleep. You don't want to be comatose when Captain Rogers arrives back in a half an hour. I don't think he'd be very appreciative." That _cynical little bastard_ was right. Tony had assured Steve that he'd be fine for a few days, but Tony couldn't sleep without him. That why the brunette decided to ignore the latter of Jarvis's advice and went to his lab door, heading towards the communal kitchen in search of some food.

He ventured into the elevator trepidatiously, gazing around the dark and equally empty tower with a little disdain and a _lot_ of superstition. " _Where_ the fuck are you Katpiss?" Tony had hissed softly, checking his surroundings once more before venturing out of the lift. He hadn't needed a light, using the glow of his shirtless chest to maneuver around the kitchen. He opened the fridge, dug out some two day old Thai takeout, and promptly grabbed a pair of barbeque tongs to eat it with. He was in the middle of stabbing something that resembled meat when Clint quite literally dropped out of a ceiling tile and on top of him.

"HOLY SHIT!" Tony had screamed, screeching continuously for a few seconds before heaving in a breath. Clint grinned through his tears, his giggles infinite. Tony punched him weakly, one hand over his glowing chest as he did so. His heart was pounding, blood pressure racing. He could feel his temples beat along with his pulse and prepared for the upcoming headache.

" _Clint_! What the _hell_!? I'm going to _kill_ you." The archer just shrugged, sitting against the dishwasher and wiping his tears. Clint grabbed the forgotten box of Thai and grimaced, glancing into the cardboard box with a cocked brow. Tony's eyes hadn't stopped bulging.

"Clint?!" He exclaimed once more, running a hand through his hair and waiting for a response. The man in question looked at him with amusement.

"What Tony? You gonna bitch slap me?" Clint grinned brightly, winking at the shorter man. Tony stood, putting a hand on his hip.

"No. But Steve will! And, and it'll hurt. _Bad_!" He responded anxiously, knowing full well that Steve's slap _would_ hurt. Clint giggled again, shaking his head.

"He wouldn't hit me, not unless I had some sort of serum. He's far to _squishy_ , "Clint poked Tony's stomach, grinning. "To hit someone who couldn't be an equal physically." Tony groaned internally, he _did_ have a point. Steve wouldn't hit someone who couldn't take it. That's when Tony smirked.

" _My_ boyfriend can beat up _yours_." Tony was sure Bucky and Steve had gotten into little arguments and scuffles before, and now, they were both on the same playing field. Steve could do it, to be a gentleman or whatever right? Defending honor or something?

"Or," Clint began, standing and patting Tony's head like he was a petulant child. "My boyfriend can beat up _yours_?" Tony grimaced, both hands swinging to his hips as he cocked a sassy brow, attitude coming out full force.

"Steve will _crush_ Bucky like the Thai food you just landed on!" Tony shouted, pointing a finger and daring Clint to respond. The archer giggled, shaking his head as the lift dinged, announcing an arrival. Tony ran to the metal doors, bursting through them and latching onto to a beaming Steve like a spider monkey. The heels of his bare feet dug into Steve's back and his dirty hands clutched around his neck. Tony gasped, gesturing towards the archer.

"Steve! Beat up Clint's boyfriend _now_! Clint's being mean and he, he _defaced my honor_!" Tony said it like Clint had done something truly punishable, sticking his tongue out at the blonde archer. Clint hugged Bucky once, whispering something into the sniper's ear as they both laughed. Steve cocked a blonde brow towards Bucky, both of them smiling. Natasha just snorted, quite unladylike actually, before walking off the lift to get a drink.

"Tony," Steve started slowly, knowing by the circles surround his big brown eyes that he hadn't slept much and was _very_ temperamental. "What _exactly_ did Clint do?"

Tony jumped at the chance to explain, waving his hands in the air and nearly falling from Steve before the man supported him upward easily. "Clint came from the _damn_ ceiling Steve! He kept doing it, andIhaveworkto _do_ Steve-"

Steve placed a finger on Tony's chapped lips, calming the short man with a soft smile. Tony frowned. "Okay, so he scared you?"

" _Terrified_ me Steve! _Terrified_. And you know I have heart problems, hecouldhave _killed_ meSteve. Now," Tony took a breath, obviously worked up. "Please go beat up his boyfriend!"

Steve looked over at Clint, trying to keep him amusement at bay for Tony's sake. He sighed. "Why exactly is Tony wanting me to beat up Bucky?"

Clint snorted, gesturing towards the insane engineer perched on Steve's body. "Because you won't hit me-"

"See, so that why you _have_ to hit Bucky! Get at 'em Steve. Go! Go! G-"

"Tony." Bucky started, grinning boyishly, "Why don't we do something a little bit tamer eh? Like video games. _You_ can pick and Steve can defend your honor _after_ you get some rest. Okay?" The large brunette proposed, gazing at Steve. The Captain nodded his thanks, knowing how much Bucky loved the eccentric man. Tony nodded, sighing as he finally seemed content with the agreement, laying his head on Steve's chest and closing his eyes. Tony's breaths seemed to even out.

"Just. Bucky. I like you, _really_. But you're boyfriend is a _douche_." Tony murmured, playing with one of Steve's blonde locks. Bucky laughed, kissing Clint swiftly before nodding.

"My _favorite_ douche."

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